Have a cup of coffee with me

This past week I had coffee with a lady I had spent some time with before.  She had called and ask me to join her.  

I didn't know what to expect, she had been under a great deal of stress the last time I saw her.  She was struggling with some things in her life and didn't believe God was there or even if there was a God.  

All I had done was sit with her and listened to her story.  She had cried a bit, I had continued to sit with her.  I knew I couldn't fix anything, but I wanted her to know she had a friend.

Once we received our coffee, she started thanking me.  I asked for what.  These words she said will always mean so much to me.  

"Teresa, there is still so much going on in my life, but the one thing I know Jesus is alive and working in our lives right now .......because I saw and felt Him when you continued to sit with me through my pain.  You didn't leave me, you didn't try and fix me, you didn't tell me to get it together .....you didn't give me advice ......you were just there.  And all I have read about Jesus, He would do the same thing." 

Connection .......I just heard someone say, "Connection is the opposite of addiction."  By this he meant we were made for connection and if we don't connect with our Creator and those around us ....we will connect to something.  

As I continue to sit with my daughter .......and with other people, I am seeing the life, the value of this kind of connection.  It is not easy .......but I believe it is so much the way God works in this world.  We can plan all kinds of things to do 'for God' and they may be great things and very necessary, but I believe it is in the everyday connections with people that speaks the loudest. 

Misty Morning Meditations

(Photo by Tamara Jackson)

Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God ) possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God), did not think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped or retained.  But stripped Himself (of all privileges and rightful dignity), so as to assume the guise of a servant, in that He became like men and was born a human being.    (Philippians 2:6-7  Amplified Bible, Classic Edition)

As I stand looking out this morning, it is so misty.  This photo to the left is not one I have taken, actually a young lady from Holmsted (our YWAM campus) took it as she stood looking out the window.  I liked it so much, because it is perfect here in England ....it looks like this most mornings in the winter and many mornings in the summer.  

 I like it.  There is something about it that inspires me to get a cup of coffee and write.  And when I write, I describe emotions I am experiencing.  This morning I am thinking about a conversation I had with this young woman in our local village.  We were having a cup of coffee and she was very troubled.  

     I just sat there and listened.  I knew that was all she needed for me to do.  She looked at me with these most beautiful brown eyes that were so sad.  She said, "Teresa, I feel as though I have to ask permission to be."  As we sat there and she said nothing more.  I asked her, "Permission to be what?"  It took her a while, but she finally said, "A person."  She went on to say,  I always want to know if what I said or what I did was OK; am I Ok?"  

 I have a birthday tomorrow and I am in the late fifth decade of my life; I could relate with this young woman.  I was meeting with her again today, what was I going to say to her?  Oh God, I wanted to say something smart, helpful; I wanted to ease that pain I saw on her face.

 God had shown me in my own life this was shame and oh it was so crippling.  It was painful and it was a thief; it robbed life - it hindered a person from being every thing God created him/her to be.  It said a human being was a bad thing and we needed to do everything we could do to keep from being human.

But God created us as human, He wanted us to be fully human; not try and be something else.  The Son of God entered into our lives, He became a human being; He felt what we felt, He experienced what we knew.  Jesus showed us how to live as a human being - dependent on God by Holy Spirit.  Jesus died, rescued us from the the evil one; we are forgiven.  

Maybe after the fall, we didn't have 'permission' but Jesus stepped in and now we DO have the right to be everything God created us to be; we have the right to be a human being.  We do not have to ask for permission to be a person; we don't have to ask if we are OK.  Shame cannot hinder us any longer!

 Oh God show me how to share with young woman; do I share?  Do I just listen now?   Empower me to participate with you today in my giftedness through Holy Spirit in your mission in this young woman's life.  I am trusting YOU.

Presence

     God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! (Romans 8:31-39) 

     This past week as I was continuing to 'sit' with my daughter (and there have been some tremendous good developments, which I will share at some point), I have been taking care of my mother-in-law during the days while GG (and JL) are in school.  

     One day while she was resting I decided to practice a discipline called the Examen, I needed it!  This is where you actually move yourself from one area to another.  Each area has a name; finite, broken and giftedness.  This is looking at us as human beings and these are the 3 areas we need to hold in a tension.

    Vera was asleep in a chair; but I could still move around the room and sit in the different areas (I have found this is very helpful for me).  As I was sitting in the finite I looked up at Vera.  I thought about how active she had always been, rode a bicycle until she was 79 years old!  This was actually when the deterioration of her spine started, she was hit by a lorry while biking to the grocery store in her village.  She was knocked into a field, but got up - refused to go to hospital and cycled home.  We didn't even find out about it until 2 years later!  

     She was always so independent and such a feisty lady.  It was very sad watching her and I felt some of the same feelings I had felt the week before; helplessness, frustration, and sad.  

     As I moved to the giftedness spot, I sensed God saying to me, "Teresa, sit with Vera.  Just be with her, help her with her needs .....there is no shame."  

     Wow the same thing I was doing with my daughter; was this enough?  It didn't feel like it, but God was saying presence .....and I was a nurse, I knew how to help her.  I knew how to help and create a space where she did not have to feel shame.  God had gifted me with this. 

     I had sat in giftedness for a long time .....Vera opened her eyes and looked at me.  She finally said, "Teresa, I am so glad you are here.  I am so glad you married my son, he needed you; this family needed you."  

     I walked over and gave her a hug.

He is sitting with us

                               

My beautiful daughter

Now we know we have Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God - let's not let it slip through our fingers.  We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.  He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all - all but the sin.  So let's walk right up to Him and get what He is so ready to give.  Take the mercy, accept the help.
(Hebrews 4:14-16)

There are some things going on with my daughter.  I am not sure what it is, but I am struggling so much watching her.  I don't know how to help, so hard for a mother.

There are some things I am struggling with and have been the past few weeks.  I am listening to God.  

The past 3 weeks I have been in Switzerland, outside of Geneva at one of our YWAM campuses with the masters program I am presently staffing - just finishing it myself!  During our first week, during a prayer time, we heard the words; He sits with us.  This continued to stand out to me the entire trip and since I have been home.  

As I have been listening to God regarding my own situation and that of my daughters, I heard these words again.  I asked God to tell me more.  He brought a picture to mind.  It was a picture of myself and a young woman from years ago.  I think I was only 21 years of age (so yes a long time ago!  : ) ).  I was in the intensive care unit of a hospital I was working for right out of university.  There was a young man in the bed in front of this lady and me.  I was sitting beside this lady, holding her hand; just sitting there, not speaking, but tears running down my face and the lady crying profusely.  I remembered the emotions I was feeling; such pain, helplessness and agony.  You see the young man was this lady's husband of only 2 months and he was dying.  He had had a headache that afternoon at 3:00 pm, fell over and they brought him into hospital.  The doctors had done everything they could for this young man, he was only 21 and so was his wife.  He had an
aneurysm in his brain and it was bleeding; they couldn't stop it.  The doctor had also stood over the bed with tears running down his face and said there was nothing they could do.  The young woman had no other family, I couldn't leave her.  I stayed through my shift and then into the next one - sitting with her, holding her hand, crying.  I felt stupid at times, but I knew I couldn't leave her.  I stayed until he died around 2 in the morning and then I stayed longer.  She just sat there, I sat with her.  

There is more to the story, but this is the picture God brought to mind.  I remembered years later this young woman came to visit me.  She wanted to thank me for staying with her.  I felt embarrassed thinking, I did nothing!  She must have read my mind because she said your presence alone was what what I needed.  

As I listened to God, I sensed Him saying, "Teresa, your presence was a gift to her, I will sit with you during the hard times, the disappointing times, the frustrating times, even the stupid times.  And during this time with your daughter, sit with her; just let her know you are there.  I am there with you too."

The incarnation was alive to me.  He entered into our lives.  His presence is enough.