I am a Child of a King!
“Hi! I’m Teresa; I am a child of an alcoholic.”
We went around the room; each person gave
their name and repeated this phrase. I
had been to several meetings similar to this one, hoping that maybe this time
(please, please, please!!) I would find an answer. Oh, it had been great at first. I remember when I had first read the
characteristics of children of alcoholics; I was shocked. This was the way I felt. At the meetings I met others who had been
raised in homes where their needs were not met, because their parents had their
own problems. Like them, I never really
felt like I “fit in” anywhere, I thought that was just the way it was. Needless to say I was excited to know there
were other people there who felt the same way.
At first it was helpful to sit around and
talk about our problems and how miserable we were. I read every book I could get my hands on
which explained why I did what I did and how I could change these
behaviors. I tried and tried, but every time
I conquered one, another one popped up.
I became very frustrated. I remember
thinking, “There has got to be more than this.
After all, I’m a Christian; would God really do this to me? Did God really send His son Jesus to die on
the cross to save me so I could be this miserable!?!” My only conclusion was that would help me,
but the best I could be was a child of an alcoholic. So I would try hard, since Jesus died for me,
it was the least I could for Him.
I like the ocean. I think it is powerful and majestic. I remember the first time I tried to float in
the ocean. It was so hard for me to relax;
let the water hold me up and go where the waves took me.
I had always tried to control everything
and everyone around me. I didn’t want to
get hurt or be rejected. I didn’t know
who I was and was always trying to prove to myself and to others that I mattered.
God has shown me who I am and Who He
is. He showed me that I was created to
participate with Him; I come alive when I am receiving from Him.
As I relax, let
go and let God be God; I can rest being His child. Life has now become an adventure! At times it feels very scary, but it truly an
adventure.
In the summer of 1993 I started raising
support to come on staff at GMI in Atlanta.
Talk about scary, but in January my support had been raised beyond the
amount I was asked to raise.
I joined the team that was going to
Budapest, Hungary; to set up the first international office. This involved selling my house and leaving my
job as a nurse and a flight attendant. I
had a very nice salary – scary!
I arrived in Budapest in July of
1994. I left friends and family and came
to a culture where I could not even speak the language. This was also very scary, but God showed me
His love in a way I had never known before.
In October of that same year God brought a
man in my life that I was only able to love because I had come to know the love
of my Father. We were married in August
of 1995 and lived in Budapest for ten years.
I had joined the organization that he was with; Youth with A Mission
(YWAM).
This all sounds exciting and it is, but it
involved letting go of how I thought things ought to be. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I thought
I would be a missionary, I would have laughed at you. The word “missionary” scared me.
I sensed God saying “Teresa, jump into My arms. It may not be what you always thought it
would be. It may even feel like jumping
into the ocean (letting go of controlling everything), but I will never let you
down; I will hold you and show you many things.”
“Hi, I’m Teresa, a child of the King.”
