The Journey of Being Love by God

     Yes I am still working on my capstone project for my masters and I probably will be for months!  As I have said before also, I am reflecting back over the 2 years.  Since Christmas I have been reviewing all I learned about the way God created us to learn, grow, mature and become fully human; the way He created us - spiritual disciplines, holy habits or running the race.
   
If you do not understand how much God always wanted to be with you and that you are included in the Triune God, these topics could be threatening .....they were for me!
     Here is another journal entry I made months ago and a picture I added to my journal.  As you look at this picture and then the topics, they are easier to understand.

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     Our relationship with God is less about trying and more about trusting .....less about struggling/perfection/control and more about resting in Him.
     Our reaching out in the world, taking the Gospel to people who don't know, using our gifts, talents, creativity, design ....being everything God created us to be is about trusting and resting in Him.
     Our journey with God is about knowing ourselves better, knowing God better and knowing our mission purpose better.
     So what is your plan to do this?  How are you going to practically walk this out in life?  If you were to run a marathon, would you just wait until the day the race arrived, then go out there and run? Or would you train?
     I thought in the beginning of my journey with God, spending time with Him, praying, reading His word ...really setting times to be with Him in silence, solitude, fasting and prayer was something I better do, or .....
     It is not something I have to do and if I don't, something terrible will happen.  It is something I need to do ....something I was created to do ....it is how I will run the race of life.
     It is my journey of learning to be loved by God.  It is the very heart of anything else I do.
     In the solitude, the silence with God, is where you learn to listen to that voice deep down in your being saying to you, "You are my beloved, marked by my love.  I am delighted with you, well pleased with you.  I love, accept you and value you."  This is truly home.
     Jesus spent much time alone with the Father.  Read in the Gospels - before ministry, after ministry, before important decisions; and when He was heartbroken, following a long night of work, after an event or experience and to prepare for His highest work.
     Jesus showed us how to live.  How much more time do we need with the Father?

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Training

Train yourself in godliness, for while physical training is of some value, godliness is valuable in every way, holding promise of both the present life and the life to come.  (1 Timothy 4:7-8)

I was watching John Luke start karate classes the other evening.  Last year he received his black belt and this year is hoping to get his 2nd Dan.  I remember when he was preparing for his black belt, he asked the instructor how long it would take.  The teacher said it depended on how hard he trained and practiced.  And then the teacher proceeded to tell John Luke about his own experience.

I knew the man was older, but I had no idea.  He said he had been doing this for 60 years and then he said he was 80 years old.  I was totally shocked.  The teacher continued to talk about training, practicing, persevering, enduring and that it was all worth it.  I had a hard time getting past that he was 80 years old, but I heard his words.

As class started I began to reflect on all I was learning about the 'spiritual disciplines' and what God said about training in the New Testament.  It became clear to me it was about training in godliness and not just another rule or regulation in our lives, but it was part of our life on this earth.  It was a battle, but there was a way and power for us to fight.  And He expected us to do it.

This has nothing to do with salvation or going to heaven.  It has everything to do with us becoming more like Jesus right now.  Salvation was the beginning.  Heaven yes was an amazing thing, but that was not what it was all about either.  It was about us entering into eternal life right now; living, working, creating, stewarding and loving others with God,lined with Jesus and empowered by Holy Spirit.

Wow, that is what is was all about, not rules, regulations, trying to get by, performing or sitting around and waiting for Jesus to come again.  I had entered into eternity with God and now I needed to learn to live the way I was created to live.  This is making sense to me.  I could stop performing and start living ....training.

How about you?  Here are some questions to help you journal, reflect.

1.)  Discipleship is a call to change, why do you think it is hard to change?
2.)  What might see if you look away ....look away from yourself?  What are you not seeing because you are only looking at yourself?
3.)  What price have you paid by saying no to discipleship?  In your heart you have said, "this is the way of life, not what God says."  What has it cost you?

Rhythms of Life

Beautiful picture taken by Helen Johnson!
http://www.helen-johnson.com

I need these rhythms of life (spiritual disciplines).  I believe you do too.  God created us, He knows how we function the best.  He made us to gaze upon Him to learn, grow and be all He created us to be.

Do you know that to seek God is a choice He has given you and it is always available?  We can say no, we can try and live another way; many of us have.  It doesn't work.  It might be fun for a while or work for while, but not for long.

I like the phrase 'spiritual rhythms' that Ruth Barton uses for the spiritual disciplines or holy habits.  It helps to get me away from some of the heavy handed and rigid approaches to spirit life that I experienced in my past.

With rhythms, I think of the ocean's waves and tides, which come and go; and are full of variety and creativity.  I know I have often sat at the ocean, watching the waves and always felt closer to God, thought of Him when I looked at that powerful water.

The rhythm of intimacy with God feeds our soul and keeps us open and available for God's surprising initiatives in our lives.  Once we learn the disciplines, just like with a dance, a sport, it comes natural; we could not imagine not knowing how to do it.  Then there is so much room for creativity; putting them together in a rhythm that works, and adding others when we need to. 

We cannot transform ourselves, or anyone else; but we can create the conditions in which spiritual formation can take place.  We can choose, develop and maintain a rhythm of spiritual practices that will keep us open and available to God.

In some of the books I have read from some of the great mothers and fathers of the the past, they say this structured arrangement of spiritual practices is referred to as 'a rule of life.'  This is a way of ordering our life around values, practices and relationship that keep us open and available to God for the work of spiritual transformation that God can bring about.

For the first time in my life I understand these acts of prayer, meditating on God's word, allowing Him to search my heart ......give time for conviction, confession, forgiveness and space for my growing, becoming more like Jesus; becoming all God created me to be.

They are not something I better do or I will get in trouble.  I was shocked when God showed me this; thoughts and fears from that little girl I was ....still there.  

I am not ashamed of myself now for recognising fears of that little girl, in the past I would have been; but now I see it as part of a process; growing, learning - no matter how old I am!  Spiritual formation - I welcome and desire those rhythms of life.

Some questions to think/pray/reflect:

1.)  What have you been hearing from God?  What are His invitations to you?  How are you responding?

2.)  Has your desire deepened to intentionally incorporate reflecting/journaling into your rhythm of life?  If so, how has this happened?

3.)  What are some challenges you might have and how will you invite God into thee challenges?

Reflecting

I am sitting here this morning looking back at my journal entries of the last 2 years .....the masters program.  We are at the end of the course work; now the thesis!  As I am preparing for my thesis/project, I want to reflect over all the things I have learned.  

In the very beginning I sense God saying, "Teresa this is not about performing; it is about meeting with the true Master."  I was always an over-achiever in school and university.  I had to have an A or it was the end of the world (I thought!).  But I sensed strongly this course would not be like that.  

One of the first things we started looking at was the 'spiritual disciplines.'  Just the mention of this made me cringe inside.  Spiritual disciplines; praying, solitude, silence, fasting .....these had been held over me in the past as rules I had better do if I was a good Christian.  Just the thought of doing this gave me a sick feeling.  

I wrote several journal notations regarding this ......

How do you see me God?  I had asked God this question several times in my life, but this time it seemed to affect me in a way it never had before.  How do you see me right now God, not how do I have to try and be or how do I get that way?  I realised I had always seen what He said about me in Scriptures or maybe even what He said to me deep down in my being as something I still had to strive and get to.  Wow....striving, performing is  such a part of how I think.  I just can't separate the two.

But I am determined to sit, reflect, journal and listen to God.  I want to hear His voice say to me how He sees me right now and then I want to ask Him to empower me to see myself that way.

I am learning that the ‘holy habits’ are good.  They are God’s grace, a time for me to be still and be with Father; that He would show me anything that hindered me from being more like Jesus.  I knew the way I saw myself was hindering me.

Two things that immediately came to me was our time in Switzerland (my masters  intensive) during the first week when the speaker had asked us to ask this very question; what are God’s thoughts toward us.  I had written down passionate and  creative.  I remember thinking, “what, this is so not me."  I have always wanted to be this way, I have tried, but I can’t.”  Immediately I saw where I did not receive this.  I saw where once again I thought, “well I will try.”

The next morning I took my daughter to school.  Before she got out of the car, she gave me a big hug, gave me a kiss and said, “you are awesome, Mom”  As she ran toward the school, I sat and watched her.  I sensed God saying, “Teresa, I think you are awesome too.”  Could this really be God?  I couldn’t believe it.  No God, you would not say that, would you?  I continued to reflect on this.

The next day my husband brought me a dozen red roses.  He had not done this in years.  When I asked why, he said, because I love you.”  As I went to put them in water, again I sensed from deep within, “this is how I see you, Teresa.  I love you.”

I am asking God to empower me to embrace this; not to perform and try to act this way.  I am using times of reflection, journaling and listening for God to work deep within me.

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I share this with you to see how these holy habits (spiritual disciplines) are ways for God to minister to us, heal us, teach and speak to us; times where He convicts us and empowers us to be more like and live like Jesus.

Not seeing myself the way God sees me hinders me and keeps me from living like Jesus.

Here are some questions for you to journal and reflect upon to see if there is anything hindering you.

1. 1.)  Jesus was always interacting with people, asking them questions; sometimes 
   strange questions.  What question do you think Jesus might ask you right
   now?
   
2. 2.)  What kind of feelings would you be having at this time while talking to
   Jesus?
   
3. 3.)  What questions would you like to ask Jesus?