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This man and I stopped seeing each other.  I don’t really even remember what happened between us.  I believe he just lost all interest and started seeing someone else.  It had happened to me again; I was replaced by another woman.  What was wrong with me?  Was I not pretty enough?  Was I too fat, after all I was about 5 pounds overweight?  I had always struggle with these 5 pounds.  Is that what was wrong with me?

     I kept going over and over these things in my head.  I just didn’t know what to do or where to turn.  I had not been to church in years, since my husband and I had separated.  The church we were going to had told me I needed to just do what made my husband happy.  It just didn’t sound right to me.  They didn’t have any answers for me when I needed them the most.

 

     Remember I met Betty Ann and she was the one who taught me about Jesus….so I really didn’t see a need to go to church.  I remember after I learned about forgiveness from Betty Ann I went back to the pastor to tell him about it.  He listened to my story and then he looked at me with such a pain on his face.  I will always remember his words.  He said, “Teresa I do not understand what you are talking about.  I believe you are telling the truth, but I just don’t get it.  I could never forgive my wife, if she had done to me what your husband did to you.”  I walked out of the church and had not step back into one.

 

     But now I felt the need to be with other people who believed in God and believed that He made a difference in our lives.  I needed to be with people that believed God was alive today, just like that Scripture said on the plaque behind the pastor’s head…..Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forevermore.  I didn’t know anyone like that right now.  I had not seen Betty Ann in a long time.  She lived in another state.  I had been so involved with this man, but I needed more.  If there was one thing I knew, I knew that.

     The Airline had opened a new Base close to where I grew up.  Was it time to move back closer to home?  My family did not know God, so I knew the answer was not with them at that time, but maybe to be closer would be nice.  I asked if I could be transferred.  There was no problem.  I moved back South.  I bought a house and everything was Ok, but oh I knew I needed to talk with people about Jesus….where were they?

     I decided I would try to find a church again, but I really had no hope I would.  Every Sunday I went to a different church.  One Sunday morning, I walked into this one church that looked like a gym.  I thought what is this, where do I go?  I stepped inside the door and just stopped.  I couldn’t see a seat; there were people everywhere.  I stood there, looked around and finally saw the pastor standing up front on some kind of stage.  I started listening to what he was saying.

     He was talking about absolute truth.  I couldn’t move.  He was talking about the things I had thought somewhere way back in my mind might be true, but I needed to hear some kind of confirmation.  This man was speaking to me.

 

     In the airline, I had seen people just do what was right in their own eyes.  Everyone thought they knew truth and was never shy about giving their opinions.  I didn’t understand that thinking.  Didn’t there have to be a Creator, someone who knew how things worked the best?  Didn’t there have to be something for me to grab a hold of out there?  Otherwise it was just a very slippery slope.  This man was saying there was.  I was in the right place.  I had found the church I was looking for.

     It was hard to get involved in the church because of my schedule, but I would go every chance I could.  I was learning and hearing about God.  I met some people my age and they invited me to this singles group downtown.  It was not part of the church, but many people went there and they were all Christians.  I thought OK, let me try this.

     I met a group of single adults my age.  I didn’t travel as much as I did before, because I loved getting home and hanging out with these people; I guess they grounded me.  Most of the people I flew with in the airline were not Christians and that was fine, but I just needed to hear more about God.

     God had answered yet another prayer; I was going to church that was teaching me about Jesus, that believed He was real today and made a difference in our lives.  I had found a group of people my age, we had much in common and they all loved Jesus.  I was so grateful.

 

     God was laying the foundation.  I didn’t know it at the time, but He had much to show me about relationships and the place He was going to start was with me.  He needed to show me who I was by showing me who He was and what He had done for me.  I knew from that time when I saw the old wooden cross on the tree that there was a purpose for me in this life, but I never really knew what that was.  God would show me….in His way and His timing.