Desires of Your Heart

As I sat this past week and looked out over the North Sea (I can look at any sea forever!), I couldn't help but think back to these stories I am writing.  It is hard for me to comprehend where I was then and where I am today.  

I had been so scare of God, I didn't know who He was; and because I didn't know who He was, I didn't know who I was or who other people were.  We are His joy, His delight; He created humanity and wants us to live way He knows we were made to live.  He loves us and sees when we try to do things our own way, without Him, it is only defeating who we are.  We were made to come alive in Him, we were not made to live alone.  He loves us and He came after us even when we did not know we needed Him; He entered into our world to show us the truth about Him, ourselves and others.  We realise our full potential when we know these truths.

And the most amazing thing I came to see is He is not a monster and He even wants to give us the desires of our heart.  In number 6 I want to share some of the desires of my heart He met. 

Desires of Your Heart

     I had been working with the Airline for 5 years and loved it.  I only meant to work for a year or two, but when it came time to consider going back to nursing; I wasn’t ready.  I was making more money than I did as a nurse and I loved my benefits.  Traveling was amazing to me.  I loved seeing the world and people God created.  There was really a whole big world out there.  It wasn’t just about that one little place I had grown up.  Everybody did not look just like me, act like me or talk like me.  People were different.  God created us that way.  Wow I had much to learn.

 

     At first I traveled and worked in the US only.  I had a list of places I wanted to see.  Some of them were; the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Boston, New York and California.  I wanted to see all of the National Parks.  I loved to hike and camp, especially when there was a chill in the air.  If people didn’t want to travel with me, I would travel by myself.  Can you believe that; a girl from a small town that had been nowhere, traveling by herself?!  Eventually when people wanted to travel to different places in the Airline, they would say, “Go see if Teresa is going anywhere.”

     I loved Broadway plays.  We stayed in a hotel near to where they would sell tickets for the plays half price after 6:00 pm.  As soon as we got into our hotel, I would change clothes and rush out to see what was available.  One evening I asked everyone in my crew if they wanted to go to a Broadway play with me.  No one wanted to go.  I rushed out on my own.  Now normally we were told not to do this, but I didn’t want to just sit in the lounge and drink for the evening.  They had one ticket to see Cats oh I was so excited, but it was 22 blocks away.  I said, “Yes, give me the ticket.”  I took off and had the best evening.  I came out of the theater around 11 pm; I was so elated and didn’t think of any danger.  I was almost dancing down the street.  People were everywhere.  Some guys came up and started dancing beside me.  I thought they looked like lots of fun.  I talked, laughed and danced with them down the street.  They followed me into the hotel.  My crew was at the front desk; they saw me and came toward me.  I introduced them to my friends.  They had a look of horror on their faces.  I wondered why.  They escorted me on into the hotel, but I remembered I had not said good bye to my friends.  I ran back to the front lobby.  They were walking out, but I ran up to them and thank them for such a nice walk.  When I returned to my crew, they lectured me for about an hour on safety. 

     As I look back now, I can see it was a bit foolish…my grandma always told me God took care of small children and fools.  I don’t think that is in the Bible, but I do believe God’s grace was great with me in those days.  I was a young Christian and I believe God was giving me the desires of my heart.  He was taking care of me.

     Another time I wanted to go to Niagara Falls and no one wanted to go with me.  I decided one night while watching a TV program and there was a commercial about the Falls.  I checked the availability of the flight for the next day.  It was open.  I was off for a week, so the next morning I left for Niagara Falls.  I flew into Buffalo, New York, rented a car and drove over to the Canadian side of the Falls because I had heard it was nicer.  I went through Immigration (I had never done that before) and drove straight to the falls; parked my car, got out and walked over to the side where I could get my first look at the Falls.  I remember my mouth falling open; they were beautiful, breathtaking.  As I stood there staring, the steam going high up in the air, I saw a rainbow.  Tears ran down my face; I seldom saw a rainbow for some reason.  But there was one of the most beautiful ones I had ever seen.  I knew it was God once more promising that He would always be with me and take care of me.

     I stood there for a long time, finally went back to my car.  I had to find somewhere to stay.  I drove down Niagara Parkway, saw several bed and breakfasts; pulled into one and got out.  I knocked on the door and a woman invited me in.  As I stood there, she went back to the door and looked around.  She came back in and asked where my husband was.  I told her I was not married.  She asked if I could possibly be there by myself.  I said yes I possibly could.  She had a horrified look on her face.  She gave me a room; I went upstairs to put everything down and came back downstairs to eat dinner.  The woman along with her husband sat with me and wanted to know why I was traveling by myself and to tell me to be very careful.  I told them I had always wanted to see Niagara Falls, no one wanted to come with me, so I came alone.  When I left there a week later; we were all good friends.

     I flew into California and drove up the coast to Vancouver, stopping whenever and wherever I wanted to stop; the Redwood Forest, Columbia Gorge, the city of Seattle.  It was a beautiful drive.  When I arrived in Vancouver, I took a catamaran over to Victoria Island.

 

     I flew into Boston and drove up route 1 to Nova Scotia.  I ate some of the most amazing food along the way.  I stayed in a bed and breakfast in Bunnyport, Maine;  walked along the beach and saw God’s amazing creation.  I loved the ocean.  It reminded me of God’s power and majesty.  I thought of His grace and compared it to the waves; they always came, but you could not control them.  We could lay back on the waves and float, not knowing where we were going.  We could rest in God’s grace.  I was learning more and more about trusting God.

     I went snow skiing in Colorado.  These were some of the most beautiful mountains I had ever seen.  I loved the swish, swish, swish as I came down the mountain.  And once again the mountains reminded me of the majesty of God.

   

     Many of the flight attendants like to fly to the tropical islands on their off days.  I really didn’t want to go anywhere hot.  It never appealed to me, but one day I told this group of girls I would go to Mexico with them.  They said we are not going to stay in the resorts; we are going to stay right in the towns.  I said OK.  One of the girls I knew well.  We stayed in the same room.  There was one mattress on the floor, a table, sink and small chair.  That night we lay down on the mattress, huddling together.  We were scared.  As we lay there, we heard this rustling sound.  It got louder and louder.  We lighted a match.  It took a few minutes for our eyes to adjust, but we saw a million lizards roaming around the room…..over and around our mattress.  We screamed.  No one came to check on us.  We eventually sat back on our mattress and stayed away all night.

 

     The trip was OK, I had some of the best fruit I ever put in my mouth, but it was too hot for me.  When I arrived home, I went upstairs to put my suitcase down.  I fainted.  My roommate heard the bang and came looking for me.  She took me to the ER, they said I had salmonella poisoning.  I have never been as sick as I was that next week.

 

     I really didn’t care for the tropical countries.  I went to St. Martin and sat under a towel at the pool.  It was so hot, I felt like I was in an oven.  Several men came over and offered something white in a bag.  I tried to make out what they were saying, but I couldn’t.  I would shake my head no to them.  Someone told me later it was probably drugs.  What?  I had led such a shelter life.

     I traveled to Europe; flew into London, saw the city, then rented a car and drove through Devon and Cornwall out to the tip of England.  What a beautiful site!  I stayed in a bed and breakfast and had the best eggs, beans, bacon, tomato, mushrooms and hot tea I have ever tasted.

      I drove back around London and up to Edinburgh, Scotland.  This is a beautiful city.  Once I had finished there, I drove around Lockness to see if I could see the monster.  I am pretty sure I saw it.  What a quiet, peaceful place.  I drove through Wales and then took a ferry over to Ireland.  Shortly after getting off the ferry in Dublin, I found myself in the middle of a riot; people throwing rocks, hitting each other with sticks and yelling.  I decided not to stay there, but I think it would have been a very pretty place to see.

     Australia was one of the most beautiful places I saw.  I flew from Los Angeles to Hawaii to Auckland, New Zealand and then into Sydney, Australia.  I took a ferry out into the Sydney harbor and as we were coming back in, I stood at the side of boat in awe.  The city was beautiful, but I just couldn’t believe I was standing at the side of this boat looking at Sydney, Australia; a few years ago, I was a young girl that had be nowhere, seen nothing except for the small little town I grew up in.  I could not even put gas in my car, I could not write a check and I could not drive to the next town.  This was an amazing testimony to me of God’s faithfulness.  He had promised He would be with me and take me down a different path.  I had no idea what that would be, but here I stood looking at this breathtaking city, on a boat.  My heart was filled with thankfulness.  Words could not describe the way I was feeling.

     I flew into Brisbane and went to the World’s Fair.  After a few days, I took a sea plane out to Lady Elliot’s Island.  I stayed in a little wooden hut, walked off the side of the island and descended down to the Great Barrier Reef.  I had learned to scuba dive a year before off the coast of Florida.  Can you believe that?  Someone that had not been out of the city she grew up, was scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef?  This was the grace and love of God; this was God showing mercy to a young girl….showing her life in a way she had never seen it and thought she never would.

     The Great Barrier Reef was an awesome site.  I remember being 60 feet below the surface of the water; the sound was so muffled…..it was another world down there, with another way of life.  I really didn’t even recognize all the things I was seeing, but God, the Creator was showing me another part of His creation.  What a gift!

     I continued flying and seeing the world, but I was about to reach another decade in my life.  And even after everything God was doing and showing me, I thought I knew what was suppose to happen.  After all the gifts He had given me, why did I think I had the answers now?  Well keep reading and I will take you on another journey of my life with God.