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This man and I stopped
seeing each other. I don’t really even
remember what happened between us. I
believe he just lost all interest and started seeing someone else. It had happened to me again; I was replaced
by another woman. What was wrong with
me? Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat, after all I was about 5 pounds
overweight? I had always struggle with
these 5 pounds. Is that what was wrong
with me?
I kept going over and
over these things in my head. I just
didn’t know what to do or where to turn.
I had not been to church in years, since my husband and I had
separated. The church we were going to
had told me I needed to just do what made my husband happy. It just didn’t sound right to me. They didn’t have any answers for me when I
needed them the most.
Remember I met Betty
Ann and she was the one who taught me about Jesus….so I really didn’t see a
need to go to church. I remember after I
learned about forgiveness from Betty Ann I went back to the pastor to tell him
about it. He listened to my story and
then he looked at me with such a pain on his face. I will always remember his words. He said, “Teresa I do not understand what you
are talking about. I believe you are
telling the truth, but I just don’t get it.
I could never forgive my wife, if she had done to me what your husband did
to you.” I walked out of the church and
had not step back into one.
But now I felt the need
to be with other people who believed in God and believed that He made a
difference in our lives. I needed to be
with people that believed God was alive today, just like that Scripture said on
the plaque behind the pastor’s head…..Jesus is the same yesterday, today and
forevermore. I didn’t know anyone like
that right now. I had not seen Betty Ann
in a long time. She lived in another
state. I had been so involved with this
man, but I needed more. If there was one
thing I knew, I knew that.
The Airline had opened
a new Base close to where I grew up. Was
it time to move back closer to home? My
family did not know God, so I knew the answer was not with them at that time,
but maybe to be closer would be nice. I
asked if I could be transferred. There
was no problem. I moved back South. I bought a house and everything was Ok, but
oh I knew I needed to talk with people about Jesus….where were they?
I decided I would try
to find a church again, but I really had no hope I would. Every Sunday I went to a different
church. One Sunday morning, I walked
into this one church that looked like a gym.
I thought what is this, where do I go?
I stepped inside the door and just stopped. I couldn’t see a seat; there were people
everywhere. I stood there, looked around
and finally saw the pastor standing up front on some kind of stage. I started listening to what he was saying.
He was talking about
absolute truth. I couldn’t move. He was talking about the things I had thought
somewhere way back in my mind might be true, but I needed to hear some kind of
confirmation. This man was speaking to
me.
In the airline, I had seen people just do
what was right in their own eyes.
Everyone thought they knew truth and was never shy about giving their
opinions. I didn’t understand that
thinking. Didn’t there have to be a
Creator, someone who knew how things worked the best? Didn’t there have to be something for me to
grab a hold of out there? Otherwise it
was just a very slippery slope. This man
was saying there was. I was in the right
place. I had found the church I was
looking for.
It was hard to get
involved in the church because of my schedule, but I would go every chance I could. I was learning and hearing about God. I met some people my age and they invited me
to this singles group downtown. It was
not part of the church, but many people went there and they were all
Christians. I thought OK, let me try
this.
I met a group of single
adults my age. I didn’t travel as much
as I did before, because I loved getting home and hanging out with these
people; I guess they grounded me. Most
of the people I flew with in the airline were not Christians and that was fine,
but I just needed to hear more about God.
God had answered yet
another prayer; I was going to church that was teaching me about Jesus, that
believed He was real today and made a difference in our lives. I had found a group of people my age, we had
much in common and they all loved Jesus.
I was so grateful.
God was laying the
foundation. I didn’t know it at the
time, but He had much to show me about relationships and the place He was going
to start was with me. He needed to show
me who I was by showing me who He was and what He had done for me. I knew from that time when I saw the old
wooden cross on the tree that there was a purpose for me in this life, but I
never really knew what that was. God
would show me….in His way and His timing.
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