How do you see me?

How do you see me God?

I had asked this question several times in my life, but this time it seemed to affect me in a way it never had before.

How do you see me right now, God?  Not how do I have to try and be or how do I get that way?  I realised I had always seen what He said about me in the Scriptures or maybe even what He said to me deep down in my being, as something I still needed to prove or strive and achieve.  Wow striving, performing such a part of my thinking.  I just couldn't separate this from what God said.

I was determined to sit, reflect, journal and listen to God.  I have learned that the spiritual disciplines are good; God's grace, a time for me to be still and be with Father.  I know I am not seeing myself the way He sees me and it was hindering me from being all He created me to be.

Something immediately came to mind ........my time in Switzerland (masters intensive) during the first week when the speaker asked us to ask this very question; what are God's thoughts toward us?  I wrote down passionate and creative.  I remember thinking , "What, this is not me."  I always wanted to be this way, I tried, but couldn't.  Immediately I saw where I did not receive this.  Once again I thought well I will try.

The next morning I took my daughter to school.  Before she got out of the car, she gee me a big hug, a kiss and said, "you are awesome Mom!"  As she ran towed the school, I watched her.  I sensed God saying, "Teresa, I think you are awesome too."  Could this really be God?  I couldn't believe it.  No God, you would not say that, would you?  I continued to reflect on this.

The next day my husband brought me a dozen red roses.  He has done this in the past years, but not in a while.  I asked him why.  He said, "Because I love you."  As I went to put them in water, again I sensed from deep within, "This is how I see you Teresa.  I love you."

Right now I am asking God to empower me to embrace this truth; not to perform.  I am practicing the spiritual disciplines God gave us to reflect, journal and listen.  I am creating space  for God to minister, heal and speak.

I want to be everything God created me to be.

Here are some questions for you to reflect upon to see if there is anything hindering you.
1.)  Jesus was always interacting with people, asking them questions; sometimes strange questions.  What question do you think Jesus might ask you right now?
2.)  What kind of feelings would you be having at this time while talking to Jesus.
3.)  What questions would you like to ask Jesus?